Like all other divine assignments I have put my hands to, it goes without saying I’m a little nervous about how this whole blog thing will play out. I have a passion for Jesus, a thirst for His uncompromised truth, and I crave for every soul I know to experience the love, grace, peace, and power we have access to through His work on the cross. I have high expectations of myself with this assignment and on the other hand I have concerns about what will happen if I make the slightest mistake. Something God keeps giving me is a vision of myself moving forward, one step at a time, in synchronization with His leading. Each day, every step I take, every post, every curated piece of content, every Holy Spirit filled crafted prayer, I take a little more territory back for the kingdom of heaven. So here I am, for all to see, taking another step.
Let me first dismantle any preconceived notions anyone may have about me. I am the first to admit, I’m not perfect. I mess up. I mess up BIG! I’m authentically starting here and proclaiming it because the only way I can go forward with this assignment is transparently. No fluff! I have no intention to paint a picture of myself that doesn’t exist. The truth is I have failed more times than I care to count. I have often fallen short and by the grace of God I have managed to get back up again. I want to be open and honest about what God has done for me and is continuing to do on my journey.
If you’ve wondered to this post from our website, then you already know I am a book lover. Reading is my jam! As one would accurately guess one of my favorite books is the Bible. This wasn’t always the case but after a painful experience with a church leader (I’ll share more about that in a future post) I took a break from gatherings for a season. During that period Holy Spirit made the Word of God come alive for me like a movie. One thing I know without a doubt is the Bible is a transparent, living, breathing artifact that will never be outdated. The Bible is truth yesterday, today, and forever. If this is too “goodie two shoes” for you, I encourage you to stick around because it gets messier.
In terms of Fade2Bold, The Blog, it is imperative that I share my truth with you. My earnest prayer is that my writings speak to your life. Truth inspires, encourages, and motivates. My life is chock-full of learning experiences so if my testimony helps the next woman or prevents you from making the same mistakes, I have made…I’ve fulfilled my assignment.
Now, I suppose I should tell you a little about myself. I’m a 38-year-old mother of one, who is heading off to her first year of college. I’ve been married and divorced (something I plan to share about more in the future). There is something else you should know; I was saved at the tender age of 13 in a good old southern Pentecostal church and ever since then, no matter how far I ran, God has made Himself evident in my life. Humanity muddies the waters with sin and compromise, but Jesus took care of that too. Fear, guilt, shame, abuse, resentment, bitterness, apathy, rage, envy, unbelief, depression, insomnia, suicide – it’s all a part of my story and guess what? Jesus took care of those too.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)
One of my fears (I know 2 Timothy 1:7 very well—again—humanity) about starting this blog/ministry/community was me thinking that I wasn’t good enough for God to use me. The Bible may be my favorite book, but I cannot always remember or memorize every single Scripture. My journey with Christ hasn’t been a pristine one. I grew up in the church and I still wondered back to the world a time or four. To be honest I did not think I was qualified until I happened upon a Scripture that supported what we so often hear in sermons “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called” …
“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God,”
2 Corinthians 3:5 (NKJV)
The NIV translation says, “Not that we are competent of ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God...” and the NLT translation says, “It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.”
So, I’ve finally convinced myself to deliver based on sufficiency, competency, and qualification from God. I’m on assignment from the Almighty and I am finally done wrestling with that. I’m certain I am not the only one who feels unqualified at times. I’m certain the enemy uses this very ploy to keep us from doing what God has called us to do. Let my testimony be proof that you can overcome this tactic when it presents itself. In closing, I’m happy you are here and that you’re on this journey with me. I look forward to hearing all the testimonies and lessons learned in our growing community of like-minded believers in the faith.
In His Love & Boldness,
❤️ Teacher Nina