Suicide.
It's a word we still consider taboo in the church, yet its presence is haunting. The word is still viewed with a stigmatism affiliated with shame and weakness. For too long, mental health struggles have been brushed under the rug within our faith communities. I refuse to be silent, and I refuse to let anyone walk alone in the shadows of depression and despair. The enemy is overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). Here's a bit of mine.
For those who don't know my story, I've stood at the edge. I grew up in a holy-ghost filled Pentecostal church, surrounded by leaders of the fivefold, worship, intercession, tarrying in the Spirit, and the prophetic, but none of that shielded me from life's most devastating blows. I struggled with depression, anxiety, insecurities, and fear for years after my ex-husband separated. I'd been in and out of relationships that were mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. The catalyst for me came after a season of enduring spiritual abuse at the hands of church leaders, becoming engaged to a narcissist, suffering a heartbreaking miscarriage, and being left in financial ruin; I felt shattered. Barren. Devoid of life. Many things I'd longed for were snuffed away from me as quickly as they were materializing. My soul, once vibrant, was torn apart piece by piece.
There came a night when the weight of it all was unbearable. I saw no way out and didn't want to burden my family anymore. So, I made what I thought was the final decision. I swallowed every prescription pill I had, downed it with alcohol, and waited for the end. But instead of darkness, I woke up the next morning – furious. Furious at God for keeping me alive. How could He let me suffer like this? Why did He not take me out of my misery?
I was angry because I thought God had forsaken me. I thought my circumstances were too heavy for Him to carry. Depression and anxiety had choked the hope out of me, and I truly believed my life wasn't worth living. I was wrong. God wasn't finished with me yet.
Psalm 34:18 reminds us, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." In that moment of brokenness, I didn't realize how close He was. He wasn't abandoning me; He was waiting for me to reach for Him. It was a long road back to health, and I won't sugarcoat it – it took therapy, prayer, and surrounding myself with people who saw my pain and refused to let me walk alone.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a circumstantial problem. My circumstances at that time were devastating, but they weren't my final chapter. If you're reading this and contemplating ending your life, don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation. The Word says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Even when it feels like the world is closing in, God has a future for you that's filled with hope.
If you're struggling, let me be clear: Reach out for help. There is no place for pride in the deep waters of suicidal ideation or suicide. You will not be able to fight it alone. Whether it's a therapist, a pastor, or a friend, don't suffer in silence. There is no shame in saying, "I need help." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us that "two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." You don't have to carry this burden alone.
I share my testimony because I know the darkness and, more importantly, the Light. God's grace saved me, and He can save you, too. This Suicide Prevention Month, let's break the silence in our churches and communities. Let's make it okay to talk about mental health. I want to remind someone that there is always hope in Christ, even in the darkest valley.
If God did it for me and is no respecter of persons, He can do it for anyone.
You are not alone. You are seen. You are loved. And you are meant to live.
If you or anyone you know is dealing with suicide, suicidal ideation, or any other spirit affiliated with the spirit of suicide, please forward this prayer to them. If they cannot pray for themselves, pray this prayer of intercession for them.
Prayer of Intercession Against the Spirit of Suicide
Heavenly Father, I come before Your throne of grace, boldly yet humbly, in the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Deliverer. I acknowledge that You alone are sovereign, and Your power transcends every force of darkness. Your Word declares in Mark 5:5-13 that even the demons recognized the authority of Your Son, Jesus Christ, when He commanded them to leave the man who was tormented and bound by legions of evil spirits. Just as the demons trembled at the authority of Christ, so must the spirit of suicide and every entity that aligns itself with death, destruction, and despair.
Father, I stand on the authority of that same power and declare right now that every spirit of suicide, depression, hopelessness, and self-harm is disarmed in the mighty name of Jesus. I declare that no weapon formed against Your children shall prosper, and every tongue that rises in judgment against them will be condemned (Isaiah 54:17). Lord, You have given us power and authority over all the works of the enemy (Luke 10:19), and so I rebuke the spirit of death that seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. I cancel its assignment over the lives of Your people. I cancel, and render null and void any agreements I have made with the spirits of suicide and self-harm, wether knowingly or unknowingly.
Father, I lift up every individual who is wrestling with thoughts of suicide, depression, and despair. I ask Holy Spirit to intervene right now, saturating their minds and hearts with Your peace and love. I declare that You are the God of life, and in You, there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11). Break the chains that bind their minds, for whom the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36). Replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of Your Word, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and that You have plans to prosper them, not to harm them, to give them a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
Lord, just as Jesus spoke directly to the unclean spirits in Mark 5:9, I speak to the spirit of suicide and every demonic influence related to it, commanding it to leave in the name of Jesus. I decree and declare that the enemy must bow to the authority of Christ and leave those whom it has sought to oppress. Father, I pray for a supernatural covering over every mind and heart, guarding them with the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17).
I also ask for strength and wisdom for those who are supporting loved ones in their battles. Empower them with the right words, actions, and spiritual insight to be vessels of healing and hope. Let them not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time, they will reap a harvest if they do not give up (Galatians 6:9).
Father, I close this prayer by thanking You in advance for the deliverance and restoration You are bringing to the hearts and minds of Your children. I trust in Your unfailing love and Your power to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). In the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, I pray and declare victory on every side. Amen.
In His Love & Boldness,
❤️Teacher Nina B.
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